Let's Go to the Movies: April 2017

This is the first in a new series of brief articles, designed to help you decide which of the movies that are showing at any given time are worth the price of admission. 

Kong: Skull Island - No matter how bad this movie was, there was a high likelihood that I was going to be entertained by it. No matter how bad it might have been, no movie that features a giant monkey is wholly without merit...and I'm pleased to report that "Kong: Skull Island" actually made for a pretty enjoyable watch. It was a little schlocky at times, and the whole Vietnam era aspect of the movie began to feel a little gimmicky (there are a few too many "Apocalypse Now" references), but overall I was satisfied. If you're a fan of monkey movies, check it out.

Beauty and the Beast - Pretty much what you'd expect it to be. Basically a straight adaptation of the original animated film, with the biggest alteration being the character Lefou being gay....a move so clearly calculated to create controversy that it makes me physically ill to even have to bring it up. Had Disney not said anything about it, it wouldn't have been a story - the character was mildly effeminate, nothing that could remotely be considered offensive happens. Aside form all that bullshit, the musical numbers felt weak, the (relatively) strong performances of the titular characters doesn't entirely mask the weaker performances of some of the ancillary characters. See it if you have kids, otherwise don't bother. 

Life - Possibly the worst unauthorized remake of "Alien" that I could have imagined. Bad without even having the decency to be "so bad it's funny". Failed to grab my interest at the beginning, was downright boring for a huge chunk in the middle, and started to get a little more interesting at the end - but alas, too late. To give you an idea of how poorly put together the film is, I made it through the entire thing without picking up on any of the character's names, except for the alien (who is rather whimsically named Calvin). So you can guess how powerfully I reacted as characters I didn't know and didn't care about started dying off. The alien was cool, and would have been better served by being written into a different movie, but that's about as much good as I can say about the thing. Can't in good conscience recommend. 

Logan - A fitting farewell for Hugh Jackman's most iconic role. Virtually all of the X-Men movies have some problems (to say nothing of the glaring problems the first two Wolverine movies have) but Logan probably has less problems than any of them. If you've seen the trailer, you know what to expect - it's grim, and bleak (sometimes frustratingly so) but all in all it's pretty admirably done. And with a hard "R" rating, it was pretty satisfying to see Wolverine really commit some grisly violence and swear like a sailor. Check it out - but don't bring your kids, unless you're really trying to come out the other side of your divorce as "the cool parent."

The Belko Experiment - The best horror movie I've caught in theaters in quite a while. Probably the nicest thing that I can say about a horror movie is that it confounded my expectations - this movie did that consistently. At a certain point (after incorrectly guessing what was going to happen a couple of times) I resigned myself to the fact that I didn't have any idea how this was going to play out, and I was just along for the ride. Both the acting and the writing were admirable - at times horrifying and upsetting, with a healthy dose of black humor to make it palatable. Definitely a movie to experience in the theater - go see it while you can. 

Thanks for reading - now get out there and see some movies. Check back later, when a new crop of films is out to see my thoughts on what's worth your time and what ended up being a waste of mine.